ahhhhhh.....

This is going to be a random, thoughts as they come kind of blog so bear with me....

I am feeling SO OUTTA CONTROL!!! Our house is in absolute chaos which ALWAYS seems to put me into absolute chaos...first, our dining room table (the one that is piled high with packing paper and picture frames) has no chairs at it because of a little re-painting job Ryan and the kids started on last week before it decided to rain all this week. So, we have been standing around the edges of the table (yes the one that is pile high with packing paper and picture frames) to eat every meal. Secondly, there is a HUGE leak in the ceiling over Sarah's bed in the kid's room which means Sarah and her brother and sister have been sleeping with me or on my floor for three nights which means there are pillows and bedding piled high in bedroom and a mattress and box springs overturned (while they dry out) in their room. There is also a leak in the living room over where the couch would normally be (it is currently sitting in the middle of the living room floor) but that is another story. Thirdly, the dogs have been going crazy with the wind and thunder so all night long I am trying to pacify a dog, pacify a kid, or ignore the whole group... plus one of my children wet the bed last night which means ALL pallet stuff must be washed today.

Then there is all the piled up guilt I am feeling for not being an on-the-ball expectant mother-- making bad food choices, not studying up on the birthing process, not praying for or even thinking about this child, worrying about the name, and on and on...plus, feeling like a lazy mother for my kids right now because we have just sort of been in "gotta get it done" mode around here instead of "lets embrace life and live joyfully" mode. Then there is the fights I have been picking with Ryan, the friends I have been trying to minister to (while I am currently on empty), and the feelings of anxiety about the house we are supposed to close on next Tuesday (where in the world am I going to put...(insert item here), what do I get rid of, what do I keep, is it worth storing...etc.?)

While I am typing this (as my eldest child looks over my shoulder-- WHY DO THEY DO THAT?) I know the answer rests in Christ-- after all He is the Prince of Peace. So, if I am making Him Prince of all my concerns then I should be filled with peace instead of this AHHHHHHH feeling-- right?

Well, maybe as you read this you could pray that I would be able to do that because right now that just seems like one more thing on my list of things I don't seem to be able to get to.